10 Things HR Needs to Do in this Economic Downturn

Have you put gas in your car lately? Been to the grocery store? Tried to get a home loan? Thought about traveling outside the U.S.? Talked to a friend who’s out of a job?

It doesn’t take a PhD in economics to know we’re in an economic downturn. Times are tough.

And when times are tough, it’s time for HR to get going. Here are 10 things HR needs to do in this economic downturn:

  1. Get up, walk out of HR, and talk to the people running operations. That’s where the money is.
  2. Fix your friggin sales comp once and for all. Sales matter more than ever, and having a sales comp “system” that can get changed on a whim won’t work.
  3. Take a deep look at your performance management system. Are you getting the real behaviors that you want, or is it a matter of who goes to the most meetings wins?
  4. Ask not what your company can do for HR, but what HR can do for your company. It’s the big leagues folks, and you need to ask the big questions about how HR contributes to the bottom line.
  5. Fell the deadwood. Yep, it’s time to get out there and chop some wood. If you have people in your organization who needed to go when times were good, that goes double now. Learn to say “buh-bye.” And do it actively.
  6. Comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable. That’s an old journalism phrase, but it’s applicable here. No one should be fat, dumb and happy in this economy. Your job is to wake them up. And if people are nervous, you need to calm them down. (No one said this would be easy.)
  7. Listen to comp consultants who link metrics to company performance. And boot out anyone else who’s trying to sell you the comp plan du jour. When times get tough, fundamentals matter and gimmicks have to get kicked to the curb. Make sure you know the difference.
  8. Let employees know what you know. Everyone gets scared when a company goes on “B” budget. They’re terrified when the “C” budget rolls around. People need reassurances when they’re appropriate, but they also need the truth.
  9. Pay lots of attention to your top talent. Not every company is in a downturn. That means when your bonus plan is flying south for the winter along with your long-term plan, your top talent get roving eyes. Top talent wants to be with winners. Pay attention to them now or else start preparing their departure packets.
  10. Do something. When times get tough, it’s not time to sit around and strategize yourself to death. It’s time to get up and take action. Do the things you always said were right for HR, but you never had the time. Now’s the time.

10 Reasons You Should Be Thankful for HR

If you’re not in HR, here are 10 reasons you should be happy that you know your friendly human resources professional.

  1. Paychecks. You didn’t think that your pay was determined by little elves who then magically printed your check right month in and month out, did you?
  2. Fairness. Sure, you complain about HR, but who’s the first one you run to when things don’t seem fair? You know.
  3. Training. There are people you never even heard of in your company who work in Learning and Development. Know what they do? They design those training classes that help you advance your career.
  4. Benefits. They “owe” you benefits, right? I don’t think so. A lot of HR pros spend countless hours toiling to make sure that your benefits go for the greater good. And, surprise, they haggle with insurance companies on your behalf.
  5. Vacation. You might be surprised to find out that a company doesn’t have to offer vacation or pay you for it. HR pros work for you to make your time off policies be competitive, the best for you, and the most financially responsible for the company.
  6. Disability. Sure, there are government mandates for disability, but there’s also HR in your corner helping you through your disability. You don’t call your manager when you have to go on long-term disability, do you?
  7. Coworkers. Look left; look right. See those people working alongside you? Thank HR. They’re the ones who have to plan staffing and recruit candidates. Then they prepare the offer letter. Onboard the new people. Exit the bad ones.
  8. Reviews. I know, you hate performance reviews. I do too. But guess what? If HR weren’t there to move performance reviews along, that schmuck that you’d been working next to for the last three years would still be there. Keep the goods ones and dump the bad ones. Who do you call? HR.
  9. Increases. Sure, your manager makes decisions about your merit increase. But where did that money come from? HR compensation spends a lot of time making sure that money and headcount match. And they watch the market to make sure it’s fair. Result: More money in your pocket.
  10. Bonuses. Hello, Bonus. Hey, isn’t that the most beautiful of seasons? Here’s the broken record, but guess who’s behind that glorious bonus check? You know it. Your friends in HR, who are watching competitive pay practices across the world and are talking about the business effects with managers. (Those of you who got huge stock option grants in the late 1990s should hit your knees every day and be thankful.)

Well, it’s Thanksgiving Day here in the U.S. If you’re working tomorrow, how about giving a little thanks to HR? They deserve it. They’re not all turkeys, no matter what you might think.

10 Ways to Know It’s Time to Dump Your Consultant

Here are 10 ways to know it’s time to dump your consultant.

  1. If he says “synergize” more than three times in 5 minutes.
  2. If he’s talking about your business plan on his cellphone earpiece while boarding an airplane.
  3. If he’s so full of himself that he takes his jacket off and tries to hand it to the pilot to hang up. (Sorry, sir, I don’t do coats, I just fly this thing.)
  4. If he uses the phrase, “Fleshing out the business case is the critical path.”
  5. If he says, “Ping him. We need to meet his expectations.”
  6. If he says, “We need to debrief this puppy.”
  7. If he talks about “the ultimate win-win solution.”
  8. If he wants to “run it up the flagpole.”
  9. If he keeps talking on his cellphone about your specific company and plans after they’ve closed the airplane door so that the flight attendant has to get up twice to ask him to turn it off.
  10. If he’s sitting right behind me on Delta 973 last evening from Atlanta to Philadelphia and I could write all this down in Twitter. (Anyone want to know about GM’s VEBA and how it’s about to be implemented at a certain Philadelphia company?)

Yep, consultantspeak costs hundreds of dollars per hour. And millions of dollars in consulting fees are burned on these kinds of ridiculous speech and thinking processes. (Not to mention the fact that the guy was revealing confidential information at “yellphone” volume.)

Note to people who hire consultants in HR: If you interview a consultant and he or she uses words like those in the list, run away. Run away fast. See Spot run. Run, Spot, run.

Side note: Some good came out of listening to ConsultantGuy behind me. A book idea popped in my head. JT understands what I mean when I write this one word: Solid. More on that soon.

Great Film Speeches

Ever want to get the pacing down just perfectly for “I love the smell of napalm in the morning”? Ever feel the need to use Michael Douglas’s “Greed, for the sake of a better word, is good” in your next presentation? Have an occasion to blend “Do you feel lucky, punk?” into your workplace sensitivity training? Well, you’re in luck.

Not Defteri posted an article that lists their favorites for the Top 10 Greatest Film Speeches and Monologues. And as a 4X bonus, they also wrote The Top 40 Greatest Conference Speeches and Keynotes. Don’t have time to watch all these? Then YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH. Oh, I just watched Jack Nicholson as Col. Nathan Jessup in a clip from A Few Good Men.

[via A Welsh View]

Top 10 Best Presentations - The Reader’s Choice

Our Top 10 Best Presentations Ever stirred a lot of interest and we were lucky enough to get tens of thousands of visitors thanks to Scott triggering a blogswarm. As you can imagine, we got lots of feedback, and readers offered addtional nominees for the Best Presentations. We looked at every one of them, and here are the the Top 10 Best Presentations - The Reader’s Choice (once again in no particular order…in fact, it’s how they came in):

Hans Roling talks about the “devolving world” at the 2006 TED Conference. This presentation was suggested by Blackfriars, who says, “I’d add Hans Rosling…who explains 50 years of trends in world health and development in 18 minutes of animations.” Roling is professor of international health at Sweden’s world-renowned Karolinska Institute, and founder of Gapminder. What a powerfully enthusiastic presentation he makes. He loves this stuff. And makes us love it too.

Sir Ken Robinson advocates for educational creativity at the 2006 TED Conference. Another presentation suggested by Blackfriars. The conference bio for this video says, “Sir Ken Robinson is author of Out of Our Minds: Learning to be Creative, and a leading expert on innovation and human resources. In this talk, he makes an entertaining (and profoundly moving) case for creating an education system that nurtures creativity, rather than undermining it.” Robinson argues that “creativity is as essential as literacy in education and we need to nurture that.” A captivating storyteller. And funny. Hey, where are his slides? Oh. He doesn’t need slides.

Al Gore talks to MoveOn about global warming in 2006. Suggested by Albert at Philly, who says, “How can you leave Al off the list?” Yes, it’s an inconvenient truth that I didn’t put Mr. Gore on my first list. But he’s on this list. Mr. Gore makes a powerful argument for taking action against global warming, and uses persuasive science combined with passion to make his points. Science and emotion together. What an idea.

Majora Carter talks about sustainable development and environmental justice at TED 2006. Okay, I have to go to TED 2007, because this sounds like the place to see all the presentation superstars in one place. Suggested by Guy Kawasaki, he says that Majora is “every bit as good as Steve Jobs” and offers 15 reasons why. Amazing talk in story style by the founder of Sustainable South Bronx. She got a sustained Standing O. And brought me to tears.

John F. Kennedy at the Berlin Wall in 1963. This speech, Kennedy’s Ich bin ein Berliner appeal to the free people around thw world, was suggested by by the German Anders|denken blog. This speech set the stage for people around the world to focus on being citizens of the world and fighting oppression.

My Name is Joe shouts I Am Canadian on a 2006 Molson ad. In the style of Dick Hardt’s Identity 2.0 presentation, this suggestion by Anders|denken blog is stirring in its own right. And dang funny. Who ever thought of using shadow puppets in their presentation? (I actually do know someone who did, so this is a second reference.) Humor is often sadly missing from presentations. Do humor if you can. And, go big or go home.

Ze Frank talks about what makes a website popular at TED 2004. Ian at Flashpoint said that he agreed generally with our first list of the Top 10, but said we missed Ze Frank’s talk. The world’s top vlogger shows how he got that title. He uses humor and creativity to make points about the intersection of technology and communication. Never underestimate the fact that people, first and foremost, want to be entertained. And that they don’t care about slide 18. Side note: Lots of people weighed in on this one (here’s one in German). It’s dang funny, I have to say that.

Douglas Englebart demos the first computer mouse and lots of other computer fucntionality…in 1968! “I’m suspicious of any best presentations list that doesn’t include at least a nod to Douglas Englebart’s Mother of All Demos” is what Christopher St. John commented on Guy Kawasaki’s post. Well, here’s the presentation in all it’s B/W glory. Vive la computer revolution! And it’s old school, baby.

Steve Jobs goes all Mighty Mouse at MacWorld 1997. What’s better than having people go nuts when the introductory speaker says, “This man needs no introduction”? Crazy. In 1997, Steve came back to save the day. Now Mighty Mouse is on its way. (This one was suggested by so many people that I’m thinking we might need a new category called “Top 10 Best Presentations by Steve Jobs.”)

Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young sing “Ohio”. Ed Darell from Millard Filmore’s Bathtub offered up four suggestions, all of them historical. We’re going to do another list with the historical speeches, but CSNY’s Ohio is a powerful “speech” in its own right and, despite your politics, it undeniably changed behavior. Ed writes: “They intended it as a protest to the shootings of students by the National Guard at Kent State University in Ohio, in 1970. It played everywhere in that summer. By the fall, all protesters, claiming outwardly to be committed to protest, instead absorbed the hidden text message: ‘Four dead in Ohio.’ Students stopped protesting and instead got degrees and moved into government. Protest was deadly, was the message. By 1975, when the South Vietnamese government teetered on the brink, even U.S. Congressmen got the message, and the war ended when the U.S. refused to support a corrupt government. It happened again in the Philippines years later.”

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