HR and Spam Bots

We had a little spam bot interlude. Over the next few days we’re moving KnowHR to a new hosting platform that can do more than just say “You have excessive server processor load.” We’ll be back to our regularly scheduled program soon.

Can You Write a Killer Job Description?

C’mon, folks, help a fellow HR pro out. HR Wench needs a resume, and it’s not what you think. This one could be fun. Here’s the challenge:

Think you can write a total kick ass online dating profile for me? Yep, so do I. Feel free to write it in the comments section or email it to me at hrwench at g mail dot com.

**The winner will receive a $25 Starbucks Card**

You know you want it!

I’m gonna play along. Last year I wrote the single best job description ever for a tech company. I mean, that friggin job description rocked. I’m gonna apply the same energy to HR Wench’s online dating profile. Care to see if you can rip the $25 Starbucks Card out of my hand? Click here.

I’m Too Sexy for HR

Well, not me. That’s for certain. But Jon Ingham has posted HR Carnival 35 on his fantastic Strategic Human Capital Management site. He called this round The Super Sexy HR Carnival. There are 40+ stories by leading HR writers from around the world, yours truly included.

Go ahead on over and read some of those stories. I’ll keep my shirt on.

Are You an HR Nurturer or HR Punisher?

I broadly categorize teachers into two groups: 1) people who got into teaching because they love learning and people, and 2) people who had a bad experience as a student and want to give crap to their students. It’s the Nurturers vs. Punishers.

I’ve run into HR people who fit into the Nurturer and Punisher roles. HR Nurturers believe that human nature is to do good, and they conduct their business to support employees. HR Punishers believe that everyone is running a scam, and the only way to prevent chaos is to implement as many policies as possible.

What kind of HR person are you? Are you looking for ways to help employees and your organization? Or do you say the magic words, like “employee engagement,” while truly believing that the riff-raff is lucky to get their shoes tied and teeth brushed in the morning?

Here’s what I say: If you’re an HR Nurturer, thank you for moving our profession forward. You’re the kind of person we need. If you’re an HR Punisher, try working in operations. Live with the crappy policies that you wrote. Talk to real people with real hopes and real dreams. On second thought, don’t go away mad — just go away.

HR Gardening Tip of the Day: Dig a $100 Hole

There’s a saying in gardening that’s the best advice I’ve ever received: If you buy a $20 plant, dig a $100 hole.

What that means is preparing the hole is the more important than the plant itself. If you dig a hole that’s not big enough, the plant ends up root bound. If you dig it too deep, the plant fades. If you dig it too shallow, the plant dries out and withers. But, oh, when you dig a $100 hole: magnificence.

That’s a picture up there of the garden path leading to my backyard. I’ve dug a lot of $100 holes. And that made me wonder today as I was up to my elbows in peat moss and loam: When a company hires a new employee, do they dig a $100 hole? If not, it’s no wonder that the employee fades. All plants look so great when you get them all shiny and new. If they don’t work out, whose fault is that?

HR gardening tip of the day: If you buy a $20 plant, dig a $100 hole.

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