My wife, Sheryl, and I were at dinner on Saturday night at a fabulous Chinese restaurant nearby. Sheryl had the Peking duck. I had the kung pao chicken. We shared a big bowl of the house wonton soup. And we talked.
The people at the next table didn’t say a word. The guy had his smart phone out and typed on it for the entire dinner.
I wanted to knock it out of his hand.
I never want to be that guy who can’t hold a conversation for an hour. I remember a long time ago when our kids were small, we used to go to a particular breakfast restaurant every Sunday morning. The same patrons would be there. And there was always this same couple who brought the Sunday paper and then sat in the booth, not saying a word, reading. I told Sheryl at that time, “Hit me if I ever go to a restaurant and read a paper in your face.”
She hasn’t had to.
In her article When Twittering Gets in the Way of Real Life, writer Katherine Rosman talks about her connectivity and how it intrudes on her family time:
One evening this week, my husband and I had a discussion that mirrors others we’ve had over the past few years. “Sometimes, it’s like you’re here and you’re not here,” Joe said to me. “Your mind and soul are in cyberspace, and all we’re left with is the husk.”
I like technology as much as the next guy. I’ve had my Twitter account for over 5 years. In the next day or so I’ll have reached my 10,000th tweet. That might be enough. (Twitter is dying, in case you didn’t know.) Here’s what I know after doing employee communication work for a long, long time: There’s no substitute for talking to people. All the rest is a way to get people talking.
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
But I’m reading this while I’m @ dinner with my wife! Start making lame content and I’ll stop reading.
I have a new rule for myself: I put the phone away after checking in with Foursquare. Only comes out if I really feel I need to take a photo.
LOL, JT. I wrote this while I was at dinner with my wife.
funny, i have no problem reading the paper together. that’s a time-tested way to spend a sunday.
but fiddling with the phone? no way, jose.
ask me again in 2-5 years.
f
Fran, I’m glad it works for you. I’m pretty judgmental about it…I guess I extrapolate that people don’t talk at all…at least I had that sense about the guy with the PDA…papers, who knows? I’m a talker, I I chat.
Amen. And much easier said than done.
Sarah, it’s so true..I think blogging is kinda like how psychiatrists work…we get into giving advice that we ourselves need.
Frank,
How about the couple who don’t even have devices or papers and sit silent either staring into space almost avoiding eye contact? Awkward and sad. The Mrs. and I had a discussion recently about her addiction to Spider Solitaire on the iPad. I love the tech but it has it’s time and place.
Hey, Shaun, that’s some kind of awkward. Yikes…it’s sad. Stonewalling is the end game for most couples.
Spier Solitaire? Haven’t played it…uh, oh, watch out…I may like it too.
The problem is that the handhelds are disarmingly small. Newspapers are enormous so most people feel odd whipping one out at dinner. But the iPhone is such a little thing… and you just want to check that one message. And it beeps at you when you get a new message. This is why I don’t own an iPhone but I have a hard enough time staying off my computer at home so I sympathize with those who do have one. You’re right, though, typing away kills ordinary communication. Sometimes I wonder if my children will still know how to talk when they grow up…
Hey, Laura…so funny about the size of newspapers. iPhones are another matter. It’s crazy. My guys only know how to text…we gave up talking years ago.
Living husks are important though! They bring in all this sensitive information to the soul. Maybe that’s why it’s so important to be aware of your body – so you can control it all. Right?
Living husks..I loved that wording. I think the writer’s husband used husk and hull interchangeably. Funny…I think people should just plain old be aware.
I just realized this has nothing to do with Sean’s comment about the tech thing.