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Archive for June, 2009
More Fun Canned Responses for Self Evaluations
Jun 30We have over 500 responses to our 1,001 Canned Responses for Self Evaluations. As recently as yesterday we got these self evaluation contributions from two very clever writers. (If you have a self evaluation or two you’d like to contribute, please leave a comment. You’ll get attribution — and when this book is a best seller at SHRM, you’ll be able to revel in the delicious irony.)
- I’m great at research. After two weeks of switching out the regular coffee for decaf, I have caused two stapler beatings, one incident of “parking lot rage,” and seven terminations for sleeping on the job.
- The best thing about working here is the cushy toilet paper.
- Since my manager treats me like a child the rest of the workday, I’d like him to start cutting up my lunches for me and putting band-aids on my paper cuts.
- I’ve been creating spreadsheets full of meaningless numbers and sending them to my boss for months. And I got a pay increase last week.
- I’ve turned “calling in sick” into an art form.
I developed and led the company’s efforts to create catch-phrases for all employees. My efforts include:
- VP of HR: “Time for some human capital punishment.”
- CFO: “Still writin that cook book!”
- General counsel: “Gimme some that Mutatis mutandis.”
- Board Chair: “Now *that’s* shareholder value.”
- CIO: “Re-booting ain’t the only thing I tried.”
- CEO: “I ain’t in the for the hugs.”
Check Out "Free Range Communication"
Jun 30
Fran Melmed, a very talented communicator, started free range communication a couple of weeks ago. I put it in my Must Read category. Stop over and say hello. For those of you who have doing this a while, make today the day you leave a comment. Remember how good that felt when we got started?
HR Bobbleheads Episode 5: Interviews Then and Now
Jun 29
HR Bobbleheads – Episode 5: Interviews Then & Now from HR Bobbleheads on Vimeo.
In this episode: Bobbleheads from the 50s and today illustrate just how much *ahem* gender roles in the workplace have changed *ahem* over the years.
UPDATE: If you think that sexual harassment is dead in 2009, check this out.
Previous episodes:
HR Bobbleheads Episode 4: New Benefits
Fremulon, Inc. announces their new, all-inclusive “Benefits Package.” Unfortunately, the package isn’t as comprehensive as it might seem.
HR Bobbleheads Episode 3: Layoffs
The economic crunch means it’s time to “trim the fat” at Fremulon, Inc. Will our faithful employees stay loyal to one another? Or will they sell each other out for job security? And what of the mysterious toxic waste spill that’s turned all the Fremulon employees an eerie green?
HR Bobbleheads Episode 2: Dress Code
Someone hasn’t been following the company’s dress code policy, which results in a talking-to from HR and the manager. This episode is a lesson in making your policies easy to understand, even for those with wooden ears.
HR Bobbleheads Episode 1: The Water Cooler
Talking around the water cooler is all fine and good, until the boss finds you shirking your responsibilities.
HR Bobbleheads Sneak Preview: Sick Day
Everyone at the office called in sick on the Friday before Memorial Day. Everyone, that is, except for Iron Man.
HR Communication Lesson: Getting Compliments
Jun 26Here’s what I know about HR communication: It takes 100x more energy to send in a compliment than a complaint.
When you send out communications, you’ll always hear people bitch about it. But know that if people say good things about what you’ve done, that’s communication gold.
10 More Things Bad HR People Approve of "In Principle"
Jun 24Here’s some real brilliance from a group of KnowHR readers. We got a new set of 10 Things Bad HR People Approve of “In Principle.” (It’s reverse psychology — it’s from a quote by Otto von Bismark: When a man says he approves of something in principle, it means he hasn’t the slightest intention of putting it into practice.)
I am absolutely delighted with these contributions. Thanks so much to the authors. Honestly, I think KnowHR has the best readers in HR. Bar none.
10 More Things Bad HR People Approve of “In Principle”
- Our people are our most important asset.
- Positive reinforcement works better than fear.
- Access to good training is essential for all employees.
- It’s worth paying a higher salary to get the best employees
- Best way to create a good employee relations environment is to be honest and direct about the tough issues.
- Helping a hiring manager find the best employees is part of our job, even if it means bringing in an outside recruitment expert.
- People development is of equal importance to selling and client service.
- We reward for good management.
- HR’s job is to help employees be successful.
- Using layoffs as an annual business strategy is doomed.
Credits:
1-4 Lindsay at Training Time
5-6 Nancy King at Nancy King Search
7-8 Rick at 48Facets
9-10 Me
If you have more, please add them to the comments and I’ll post them. This is great thinking.
Coming soon: A compilation of 1,001 Canned Responses for Self Evaluations, including the comedic styling of Ben Eubanks from UpstartHR.
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