It Ain’t a Performance Review If You Have to Memorize Phrases
Posted on Wednesday, April 1, 2009 by Frank Roche
You don’t want to make Baby Jesus cry, but you could if you were SHRM and featured a book this month titled “Perfect Phrases for Performance Reviews.” Get out the Kleenex, because this is going to be a doozy. Here’s the description:
Writing performance appraisals is one of the most difficult and time-consuming tasks managers face. Perfect Phrases for Performance Reviews simplifies the job, providing a comprehensive collection of phrases that managers can use to describe employee performance, provide directions for improvement, and more. For example:
“Sets priorities well”
“Misses important deadlines”
“Thorough, reliable, and accurate”All managers and HR professionals will value the book for its:
- Hundreds of ready-to-use phrases, organized by job skill and performance level
- Tips for documenting performance issues and conducting face-to-face reviews
- Easily adapted performance review templates covering five performance levels
With the wide-ranging assortment of descriptions available in this book, managers will be able to find the perfect terms to help them analyze and understand the work performance of each person they work with.
Here’s where I have a problem with this book: It starts at the title and ends with the back page. And everything in between. Seriously. Phrases for managers to memorize and use in performance reviews? Here’s an idea, SHRM, how about this title? Get Rid of Crappy Performance Reviews and the Crappy HR Managers Who Think It’s Okay to Memorize Perfect Phrases for Performance Reviews. I’ll write it for you this weekend. For free. Honestly, people would buy it.
Look, I don’t know the authors of this book. I haven’t read it. But as nice as the authors surely are, this is stone BS. And I blame SHRM for selecting this kind of book for a monthly feature. Want to know why HR ends up being a laughingstock? Show managers out on the front lines this book. Do I have to explain to you why employees end up cynical?
Steve Boese
Apr 1st, 2009
Frank, one of the interesting things I have seen in working with various software packages for performance management is how the vendors have ‘embedded’ this concept right in the tool. Most, if not all, of the big vendors have a ‘comment helper’ or an ‘authoring coach’ which lets the manager (optionally) choose comment text from an inventory or library of descriptive phrases. Most also offer a ‘nuance’ tool, which with a click of a ‘more positive’ or ‘more negative’ icon, will subtly adjust the tone and tenor of the loaded comment. When I demo these tools, most observers really seem to like this feature, but I suspect it is because they feel like a ‘coached’ comment on a review is better than nothing. Very interesting post and I enjoy the blog.
Frank Roche
Apr 1st, 2009
Thanks, Steve. It’s just one of those crazy things…I know they get used, it’s just that the lack of authenticity drives me up a wall. I will say, this was a rant…a real rant. I’m strictly against performance reviews the way they work in general…and I blame bad managers and HR’s unwillingness to confront it. So…when I see this kind of stuff, I see red. I’m sure the writers are well intentioned…I wish SHRM would show a different way.
Joe Rice
Apr 2nd, 2009
“It starts at the title and ends with the back page. And everything in between.” Classic. That got about as much of a laugh out of that is possible at 6am.
Mike Fabus
Apr 2nd, 2009
Great blog today. Nothing like taking steps backward in some serious times when HR needs to be a leader. Thanks for the blogs and keep up the great work.
Paul Hebert
Apr 2nd, 2009
I know… how about a book – best “marriage vows”?
Need help telling that special someone how special they are? Pick one of over 200 phrases, tested and validated to really communicate your true feelings. Tell her/him how much you value them as a person by using one of our vows. Guaranteed to create that special one-to-one relationship we all want. Act now and we’ll throw in the “anniversary” edition with ideas and gifts for all 3 anniversaries you’re going to have if you buy the first book (don’t worry about the anniversaries after 3 – you won’t be needing them.)
Ben E.
Apr 2nd, 2009
Here’s a thought: give them an honest, straight-shooting review of their performance. No, wait, that would crush their poor widdle spirits. Better to give them a focus-group-comfort-phrase instead and ignore any real issues with performance management. Spot on, Frank.
Ben E.
Apr 2nd, 2009
Paul, I just snorted my Mtn Dew into my sinuses. I’ll be sending you the doctor’s bill.
Ann Bares
Apr 2nd, 2009
Can we drop this in the same pile as the performance review software that promises “Finish all your performance reviews in no time at all!” (And yes, I do realize that this software is probably flying off the shelf…)
Frank Roche
Apr 2nd, 2009
Thanks, Joe. I have to say that I’m at my cranky best by about 9 at night.
Frank Roche
Apr 2nd, 2009
Thank, Mike. I knew I was stepping on some (SHRM) toes on this one. It just seems in these times it’s about doing things right, not by rote.
Frank Roche
Apr 2nd, 2009
Paul…fabulous. I think you should send in that book proposal today. And as a bonus, they can get 200 Heartfelt Ways to Propose.
Frank Roche
Apr 2nd, 2009
Thanks, Ben. Yeah, how about spending a few minutes on what really matters? Nah, let’s go with Response #37.
Also, thanks for the pay article. Excellent. I’ll use that one with a citation for you.
Frank Roche
Apr 2nd, 2009
Ann, I talked to someone yesterday who told me that’s the case…like who buys that stuff? At some point you can just pick a random number and not even have to attend your performance review. While we’re at it, perhpas you and I could write 200 Possible Pay Increases When You Don’t Feel You Have Time for Pay for Performance.
Ann Bares
Apr 2nd, 2009
… or 200 Excuses Why I Can’t Give You the Increase I Believe You Deserve This Year ….
Frank Roche
Apr 2nd, 2009
Ann, I think you have a book in your future. That one really cracks me up. (And people would really use those phrases.)
Ron Ulrici
Apr 2nd, 2009
Frank,
Many years ago, Xerox published an inhouse manual which gave genric responses for every possible employee relations issue in the world. As a young HR person, I thought I had died and gone to heaven when I got a copy – I was ready to meet any challenge that an employee would bring to me!
Just think, after awhile, I could have numbered each response and just tell the employee, “The answer is number 12.”
Ron
Frank Roche
Apr 2nd, 2009
@Ron, wow, that would be the gold mine of proper responses. Yep, it’s always Answer #12.
Sarah Clayton
Apr 2nd, 2009
The feature of this book in the e-newsletter says more about SHRM members than the SHRMStore. I know for a fact that “Perfect Phrases for Performance Reviews” has been a bestseller for the store for several years and has reached the store’s yearly bestsellers list at least once. Don’t blame the store or SHRM for including the book in the newsletter. Blame the HR professionals who are buying hundreds of copies of the book a year from the store. By buying the book, they are asking the store to continue carrying the book. The store is providing its customers what they are asking for, which is what a good store does. Let’s focus on improving the skill level of HR professionals, so they don’t need books like this anymore.
Frank Roche
Apr 2nd, 2009
@ Sarah C…good point…I’ll go with the buyers. Title of my next post: “Whoever Is Using Perfect Phrases for Performance Reviews Should Be Fired.”
I cannot believe that people actually use that kind of junk and consider it a performance review. I just can’t.
Thanks for the calibration.
Bill Strahan
Apr 2nd, 2009
I referenced “Perfect Phrases for Blog Comments”
Thanks Frank. Boffo post!
Frank Roche
Apr 2nd, 2009
@Bill, there’s another one! Hey, that would be so funny…Perfect Phrases for Blog Comments. LOL.
Dan Walter
Apr 2nd, 2009
Frank,
Thanks for the laugh! What about the old phrase, if it seem too good to be true, it probably is.” I am sure the perfect phrases would work even better if they were used “Madlib’s style”. Just have a few of the word missing and have the employee write a list of twenty random words in their self appraisal. The random words will be stuffed into the phrase to create a truly “PERFECT” review.
Now that I think about it I am going to write a book titled “100 Perfect Self-Appraisals – How to cut and paste your way to the top!”
Frank Roche
Apr 2nd, 2009
@Dan…there is some good to be gotten from this approach…your Mad Libs and 100 Perfect Self Appraisals…lol…I smell best seller!
rick
Apr 3rd, 2009
I think you hit a nerve.
I am guessing that some of these perfect phrases strung together in random order would still provide a more accurate, meaningful and personal review I have some I have had over the years.
andy
Apr 4th, 2009
Frank, I’m new to your blog in the last week or so but have added to my daily feed. I can’t tell you how mad it makes me that a book like this exists!! And we wonder why the US is losing ground economically…b/c honest, authentic and data based feedback has been thrown out the window!!
keep up the good work
Frank Roche
Apr 4th, 2009
@Rick, that is funny stuff. I bet there are a bunch of people wondering if their performance reviews came from that book. Nuts.
@Andy, thanks very much for coming by and adding KnowHR to your reading list. I really appreciate it. Crazy about this performance review approach, huh?
@Dan, I think 100 Perfect Self Appraisals sounds like a real winner!
KD
Apr 5th, 2009
Frank –
I’m late to the game on this one – nice work – going to do a post featuring this during the week.
Is the baby jesus thing a reference to the scene in Talladega Nights? I hope so…
You’re on fire recently, keep up the good work…
KD
Frank Roche
Apr 5th, 2009
@KD…LOL, it is from Talladega Nights. That part just cracked me up. Thanks about this..the passionate ones seem dangerous…and right.
Mike L
Apr 7th, 2009
OK, Frank. I’ll play Devil’s Advocate. I understand that using a book of stock phrases is impersonal and can give someone who should know better an easy out in creating a review. But a couple points here. First, there are a great number of managers who don’t know anything about management. They know something about their domain and have now been thrust into a management or supervisory role with little to no training. Not ideal, certainly, but we live in the real world and it happens.
So, is it that terrible if there’s a tool that helps these folks create reviews in some sort of standard way?
To Paul’s point, “Need help telling someone how special they are… ” last I checked Hallmark did a good business at that. Why? How many of us write our own anniversary cards? Should we be chastised for that? Probably. Though we don’t write our thoughts as well as the Hallmark guys, some original, heartfelt stuff would probably be better. But we go out and buy the anniversary and birthday cards anyway, because somebody that makes it their job to be good at writing these things has already done all the hard work and makes our life easier. We have a lot of choices and pick the one that suits our situation.
I see the danger in railing against automation in performance reviews is perhaps we let the perfect be the enemy of the good. Canned phrases may be laughable to HR, but most managers aren’t in HR and need some help.
Thanks for the thought-provoking piece.