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10 New Job Titles for Pay Transparency
Feb 11One outcome of pay transparency will be that everyone will have an individual job title. No two jobs will be the same anywhere in the company. No equivalence, no discrimination.
Here are 10 new job titles for pay transparency. What’s your going to be?
- Zone 4.2, Level 22.67, Grade 5.5363
- Paris Hilton
- Left-Handed Designer Who Sits in Cubicle 23 on the 3rd Floor in the West Wing of Building 3
- Future Implementation Process Consulting Analyst Analytical Individual Contributor II
- Middle-Aged Guy Who Makes Spreadsheets
- Older (About to Retire) Guy Who Checks Spreadsheets
- Junior Operational Blonde-Haired Female Assistant Meeting Meeting Planner
- Trained Monkey
- The Gopher
- Harvard-Educated Math Computer Program Writer Data Analyst Compensation Consultant Network Administrator Installation Manager Hardware Purchaser Multitasker, Esq.
About the Author
Jessica Chappell
Jessica started her career as a fashion designer with a degree from The Art Institute. Now she applies that aesthetic to the words she rips onto pages. At IFRACTAL and on KnowHR, she cuts up sentences and sews them into something new.
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That's probably the most cynical outcome of what is in essence a much needed change in compensation transparency. Isn't this sort of what happened when the new overtime rules went into effect anyway?
It is a real possibility…I mean, if this goes, there's every chance that everyone will be a human snowflake, different in their own special way. This was just for fun…and to make a point. It does happen like this, though. The Law of Unintended Consequences comes into play when people try to change only one part of a complex issue.
I'm the cha cha queen.
Laurie, that is the perfect title for you. You have more cha cha than 100 people put together.
I caught the Man Cold….I'm still laughing about that video on your site. LOL…sniffle.
Mine will be the Client Focused Scary Manager
Hey, Rick, this will be like our Spice Girls name.
Having said that, we went more transparent a couple years ago, and it “worked”, warts and all.
Thanks, Glenda
“Be careful what you ask for” is so true. I am all for fair pay…do it right and get it right. But to explain all of what one person is better (or worse) than another…I don't think we have that kind of measure anywhere in our lives.
SVP CB WLCC
That is a beauty.