In HR we talk about “shared responsibility” a lot. There’s a shared responsibility to invest 401(k) funds appropriately — the company provides funds and employees make good investment selections. We talk about shared responsibility in self-directed teams, employee empowerment, and employee engagement. Shared, shared, shared. But is it?

I read this essay about real Responsibility (with a Capital “R”) today on 48Facets. It’s the story of a father-son dynamic when the 16-year-old son accidentally runs the family car into the garage. You see, in this definition of “responsibility” it’s not about letting anyone off the hook. In 2007, I fear that too many times we say responsibility without really meaning it. Here’s how this story played out:

This weekend he damaged my car. The fault was his alone. It was totally preventable. He woke me up to let me know about it and he was sincerely remorseful. Sometimes I think that he believes that is all that is needed. Being very angry that night I decided to wait until the next day to decide how to handle the situation.

[snip...]

I had spent a good part of the day thinking about what to do. I decided that he needed to take full responsibility for the damage he caused. Yet I neither wanted him to begin to avoid all risks just to know that taking risks has consequences and that an adult learns to deal with the consequences of his actions.

I told him that he needed to fully pay for the repairs which I estimate will be at least several hundred dollars. To his credit he accepted my judgment though I was informed that it was a little “harsh”. We agreed on a plan that would combine cash payments and working off the remaining debt. He knows that I expect him to follow through on the chores even if it means giving up a night with his friends or a few hours of video games. He claims that he is committed.

This, to me, is what shared responsibility is about. It’s not about getting off the hook and it’s not about being given a free pass. It’s about standing up and being committed. It’s about doing the right thing. And it’s not all downside. There’s shared responsibility for celebrating the right things as well.

The 48Facets essay gets it right. As JFK once famously quoted from the Bible: For of those to whom much is given, much is required.