Subscribe
Follow Us
You Know What's Demeaning? The Monthly Birthday Cake
Jul 11
I’ve worked at two consulting firms that had “monthly birthdays.” I always thought that was demeaning.
Besides the cruel oxymoron of the “monthly birthdays,” it basically said to me, “Yep, we need to look like we care about your birthday, but we don’t have time, so eat some cake and smile while a bunch of people crowd around uncomfortably and ask you ‘When was your birthday?’” What a missed opportunity.
I worked in Amsterdam for a couple of years, and I really liked the Dutch tradition. The birthday boy (or girl) brings treats for their friends, and then everyone gathers to have a koppje koffie and wish the person “Hartelijk gefeliciteerd!” It’s much more motivating. It’s genuine.
So, my HR advice for you today: If you have monthly birthday parties, save your money. They suck the energy out of the celebration and are one of those greatly co-optable “motivation efforts,” right up there with talking about work-life balance and then asking people to kick out late night reports and work for “just a few hours this weekend.”
About the Author
Frank Roche
Frank started IFRACTAL over 7 years ago with Sarah Chambers. Together, they've created HR communications and HR software for some of the world's leading companies. Frank is also studying Flamenco guitar and origami.
Comments
Leave a Reply
Featured Product
Social Media
Flickr
This really goes to show why the personal touch is important, Frank. You make the point extremely well! I continue to learn from your thoughtful posts. Thanks.
Hi Robyn. This post is a little snarkier than I normally write, but it does get the sentiment across, I suppose. I do think your “multiple intelligences” work influences my thinking here…and it is about the personal touch. Grand gestures made inauthentically are sad and are no substitute for real management.
Two thoughts: 1) If you have more than a couple birthdays in one month, then you are standing in the conference eating cake that no one really wants anyway (because face it, isn’t birthday cake ceremonial at best?) and making small talk, over and over. I agree, you lose the personal touch if you lump them together once a month, but if you’re running the same cake drill every couple/few weeks, I think you still lose the personal aspect.
2) i worked at a place where the birthday person brought in their own treat to the weekly staff meeting held closest to their b’day. That way you get something other than the secretary’s favorite cake or whatever the office manager hurriedly picks up at the grocery store, plus, the b’day person gets to share why they love Dove Bars over Chocolate cupcakes, and you have variety and personality. Much better than both the other alternatives, I think.
But the main point, which is, use birthdays as an opportunity to provide some personal attention, is spot-on.
Meg, excellent pints. I do like the birthday person bringing in a treat…that worked super great in Amsterdam. And as you say, it’s about some personal attention. How true on so many levels, and a birthday mention is just one of a thousand that could be done well (or at least, bettter).